Husband admits to sleeping with wife’s sister. But her response is the best thing i’ve ever read

ULTIMATE SEPARATION NOTE

Beloved Ex-Spouse,

This message serves as my definitive notice that I am parting ways with you for good. For the past 7 years, I have endeavoured to be an exemplary husband to you to no avail. The turmoil of the last fortnight was the tipping point. … Your employer informed me you resigned from your position today, and that was the final blow. Within the past week, you returned home oblivious to my fresh haircut, the lovingly prepared dish of your preferred cuisine, and my new silk undergarments. You devoured the meal in mere moments, and then proceeded to slumber immediately after binging on your television dramas. Not once do you articulate your affection for me; our physical intimacy and marital connection have all but vanished. Whether it’s infidelity or a lack of love, the outcome is the same – I am leaving.

Farewell,

P.S. There’s no use in seeking me out. I’m embarking on a new life in West Virginia with your SISTER, so wish you all the best!

To My Former Spouse,

Receiving your note was the highlight of my day. It’s factual that we’ve been married for 7 years; however, calling you a ‘good man’ would be a stretch. I indulge in my soap operas to escape your ceaseless nagging, unfortunate but true. Yes, I did notice your haircut; yet my first thought was that you resembled a female. My upbringing taught me if something nice cannot be said, it’s better to stay silent, so I held my tongue. As for the meal you cooked – it seems you confused me with MY SISTER, considering I haven’t eaten pork in over 7 years. Regrading the silk boxers, I couldn’t help but see the $49.99 price tag on them and couldn’t help but link it to the $50 my sister borrowed from me that day. Despite these misgivings, I retained my love for you and believed in a second chance. So when I won a $10 million lottery, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But alas, I returned to find you had fled. Perhaps it’s all for the better. I wish you well in your search for happiness. My attorney has assured me that your letter negates any claim you may have had on my new fortune. Take care.

Signed, Your Affluent and Unencumbered Ex-Spouse

P.S. Did you know, my sister Carla actually started out as ‘Carl’? I hope that’s not an issue for you. (57409)