Husband Admits To Sleeping With Wife’s Sister

The Tale

Uncover the story of a marriage that crumbled due to a husband’s extramarital affair. It kicks off with a note from the unfaithful spouse to his wife, setting the stage for a dramatic and comical turn of events. You’re intrigued, I’m sure. Let’s delve in.

The Note

“My Beloved Wife, I am writing to inform you of my decision to leave you for good. For seven years I’ve endeavored to be a devoted husband with little in return. The past two weeks were excruciating…Your employer informed me today that you quit your job, and that was the breaking point. Just last week, you didn’t even acknowledge my new hairstyle, the dinner of your preferred dish I prepared, or the new silk underwear I put on.

You devoured the meal in mere minutes, and then went right to bed after indulging in your usual television dramas. The expressions of love have ceased; intimacy is a thing of the past. Whether you have been unfaithful or simply fallen out of love, I cannot say, but I am leaving.
Your Former Husband
P.S. Do not bother looking for me. Your SISTER and I have decided to make a new start together in West Virginia. Enjoy your life!”
The response from his wife is brilliantly witty.

Spouse’s Response

Dear Former Husband, Your letter brought me more joy than you can imagine. Yes, we have been together for seven years, however, your notion of being ‘good’ is quite skewed. I immerse myself in soaps to muffle your never-ending complaints, which unfortunately is not very effective.

I did notice your hair the other week; however, my initial thought was that you resembled a female. Since I was taught if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all, I chose silence.

Concerning the meal you mentioned, I think you’ve mistaken me for my sister, considering I haven’t eaten pork in over seven years. But, please wait, there’s more… Regarding those silk boxers you mentioned, I turned away because the $49.99 price tag was still attached, and coincidentally my sister had borrowed exactly $50 from me that very morning. Despite everything, I still loved you and thought we could resolve our issues.

So when I won $10 million from the lottery, I quit my job and bought us both tickets to Jamaica, but you had already left by the time I got home… the universe works in mysterious ways, indeed. I trust you will find the life satisfaction you’ve been seeking. My attorney assures me that your note means you won’t receive anything from me. Good luck. Signed, Your Wealthy and Free Ex-Wife.

P.S. It may have slipped my mind to mention, but my sister Carla actually began life as Carl. I hope that’s not an issue. NOW THAT’S WHAT WE CALL A SIZZLING REVENGE. Truly hilarious, right?